The Noise Inside My Head

I can tell already that one of the hardest things about being a hippie housewife is going to be the zen aspect. After so many years of glossing over what's going on inside just to keep surviving, it's kind of scary to start mucking around in there. That is the big down side of being with Matt. I'm so safe and loved that I don't have to be in survival mode anymore. Instead I get to clean out all the garbage I let accumulate over the years. (lucky me.) There is a lot of junk in there and I am TERRIBLE at quieting the whirlwind inside my head. Just 5 minutes of meditation is exhausting. I have to admit part of it is sheer laziness: (in a 5 year old's whiny voice) "But I don't waaaant to! It's too haaaard!"

I do have some ideas for baby stepping though (Thank you, Bob.*) Instead of thinking myself to sleep ("What can I take for lunch to work tomorrow....I forgot to do the laundry....How can I spend my money better...."), I am trying breathing myself to sleep. I like to think of it as meditation for lazy people. This way I'm never interrupted by thoughts like, "How much longer?" and "I could be doing something productive right now." I just keep focusing on my breathing and I know I'm done when I'm sleep. One day I'll graduate and do some real meditation, sitting cross legged, maybe burning a candle....I may even get crazy and get a gong someday. But for now it's Snooze Meditation for me!


Other items on the hippie front have been more productive this week. Matt and I re-roofed our shed which was very self-sufficient of us. I guess I have to admit that Matt did most of it because I got really wussy up on the roof. I was ok once I was up there, but the walking around bits were not my forte. We also went for a hike at Tonga Ridge out past Skykomish. It was about 7-9 miles round trip without much elevation gain and very peaceful. We only saw 2 other couples on the whole hike and they were both headed back down. There were just fields full of bracken ferns and so many beautiful little butterflies. It was also VERY dusty and by the time we were done we both looked a little like Pig Pen. :) I didn't get too many pictures but below are a few that turned out alright.

* See the movie "What About Bob?"